Well, to make a long story incredibly short, I am going to graduate school this fall by the pure, pure grace of God. It wasn’t an easy decision, it didn’t go at all as planned, but I learned a lot along the way and I trust that things worked out exactly as they should.
And of course, people want to know what I’m going to do with my Master’s in Biblical Languages (assuming God’s grace gets me that far).
“After that I plan to go for a PhD,” I say. “I want to be a professor. You know. Teach.”
And at that point, they give me that look of mixed admiration and pity, like You poor sweet thing.
If – if! – everything in the next several years goes according to plan, those will be several years in which I give up the chance to, you know, make money. I’m going to go through rigorous tests, face stressful deadlines, write the longest thing I’ve ever written, and learn how to guide impressionable students. And then I’m going to get spit out into a job market that’s getting tougher all the time.
And that’s just the practical side! There will be other tests, far more important than the academic ones: tests of my character, my relationships, my determination, my love for what I am doing. I will need so much prayer and humility to get through.
And even should I make it out alive, the tests will go on. Scripture says, “Brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers, for you know that we who teach will be judged more severely.” And Jesus, though he was himself called Rabbi, had many negative things to say to the “teachers of the law” who didn’t follow their own teachings, who loved the honor their positions brought more than serving the people they taught.
I know what you’re probably thinking, and yes, I am crazy.
The only hope now is for me to become the right kind of crazy: crazy for the love that breaks chains, shoots light into darkness, turns lives upside down in the best way. Crazy like Someone who would weep and bleed and embrace and feast and live and die for the sake of those he loved.
Please pray for me, that I would be the right kind of crazy. And if you want, I will pray for you too.