I forgot to mention what’s printed on the back of that card Sister Shirley gave me years ago now.
Just one tiny, tiny verse:
I am with you always. Matthew 28:20.
Like most slivers of Scripture that get put in greeting cards, it seems so tame and comfortable, even self-serving.
But what if I really believed that about Jesus? That he was with me… always?
Honestly, that’s kind of a scary thought.
There’s a lot I still don’t like about myself. There are a lot of true things about myself that I still do not want to believe.
I’d rather pretend. I’d rather hide until I’m good and ready. I’d rather never be seen messing up at this prayer thing, this faith thing. If possible, I’d rather already be a saint, thank you very much.
But Jesus is with me now. And Centering Prayer is just my way of acknowledging that, of saying, Yes, I know I can’t hide from you. And I won’t even try. Here I am, in all my ugliness and all my beauty.
You know me. Now I want to know you.
And then, when I’m brave enough to really be there, to bare my flawed self in front of my perfect Savior, is when I hear the true comfort of those words.
Real now, spoken to me: Daughter, I am with you always.
Today’s 15 minutes of prayer: first thing in the morning, swaddled in blankets with a cat on my lap. I think I may have been a little too comfortable (and sleepy) to really practice awareness. But as I’ve noted before, my cat is great at getting me to stay in the present moment.